How To Survive Valentine’s Day in NYC

How To Survive Valentines Day in New York City

My dear reader, it’s been forever. How are you? Your family? Your girlfriend? Boyfriend? Oh, you’re single. Me too. Well, reader you may have heard Valentines Day is here again. It’s that time of year when love is in the air, chocolates are on the shelves and the lonely people of the world are very, very obvious. Now before you barricade your door and cry to a song all day, read this blog entry. You and I are going to survive this day, reader, and I’m going to tell you how.

Dress In Camouflage:

You’re going to be seeing red and pink everywhere today. You can’t change that, but what you can change is your attire. Pick up that heart-covered sweater Aunt Louise got you for Christmas. Now you blend. Should you find yourself in a room full of couples and it’s clear you are alone, bring up something less controversial then your relationship status. Like gun rights.

Don’t Heckle:

Alright, so you’re alone and it seems like everyone around you is displaying their affection for each other very… publicly. Before you fling that snowball at their interlocked faces, stop and think. Public displays of affection are very annoying, I know, but it is an international day of love. Give the couples this day to show the world that they have someone that’s willing to stick their tongue down their throat. Let them have love today. Snowballs tomorrow.

Don’t Hit the Sauce:

See how well I blend?

See how well I blend?

Now let’s pretend we live in a world where underage drinking exists. Are you pretending? Good. Now, I know you’re alone. I’m alone too. But you need to put down that bottle. That chocolate mudslide is not going to make anything better. Call your friends. Go see a violent slasher movie. Enjoy responsibly.

Do Not Call Your Ex:

Just don’t.

Don’t Watch A Romantic Comedy:

I love a romantic comedy as much as the next guy, but if you don’t want to end up calling your ex (see above, "do not call your ex"), you shouldn’t watch Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan disprove that men and women can just be friends. Romantic comedies take two hours. Real romances take like two years. Sometimes twenty. Stick with a normal comedy, and you’ll feel better when the credits roll around.

Seriously Don’t Call Your Ex:

Put down the phone.

Avoid Romantic Places:

No matter where you live, there has to be a spot notorious for romance. A romantic hill. A lover’s lane. These places are not for the single. This Valentine’s day, I’ll be on the island of Manhattan. Due to the enormous amount of romantic movies that have been shot in New York, I’ll be avoiding the following places: The Empire State Building, Central Park (actually all parks), The Met (both museum and opera), Tiffany’s, ice skating rinks, Italian restaurants, French restaurants, Chinese Restaur- (you know what, I’ll order in) and Rockefeller center. Stick to the subways and keep your head down.

Be Happy For People:

We all know someone who is in a happy relationship. Hopefully they’re someone who doesn’t third wheel you. They found someone who makes them happy and you should be happy for them. Send them good thoughts and maybe you can find someone to make you happy too.

Follow these tips and stay safe. I mean that for the couples too. Have a Happy Valentines Day and do not call your ex.

P.S. I know this post excluded my readers who are in relationships. For you I have a playlist of some of my favorite love songs. Enjoy them for the rest of us. Listen to this playlist on Spotify.

1. Friday I’m In Love - The Cure
2. Fidelity - Regina Spector
3. At Last - Etta James
4. Strange Love - Slim Harpo
5. Same Love (feat. Mary Lambert) - Macklemore and Ryan Lewis
6. La Vie en Rose - Edith Piaf
7. Misty - Ella Fitzgerald
8. A Kiss to Build a Dream On- Louie Armstrong
9. When I Fall In Love - Nat “King” Cole
10. Moon River - Andy Williams
11. This Guy’s In Love With You - Herb Alpert and The Tijuana Brass
12. Wouldn’t It Be Nice - The Beach Boys
13. With A Girl Like You - The Troggs
14. I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclaimers (My favorite song!!)
15. For Once In My Life - Frank Sinatra
16. Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore - REO Speedwagon (Don’t judge)
17. These Arms of Mine - Otis Redding
18. Ain’t No Mountain High Enough - Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell
19. This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) - Natalie Cole
20. (What A) Wonderful World - Sam Cooke
21. Why Do Fools Fall In Love - Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers
22. Be My Yoko Ono - The Barenaked Ladies
23. When I’m Sixty-Four - The Beatles
24. Sweet Child O’ Mine - Guns N’ Roses
25. The Way You Look Tonight - Tony Bennett

Megan Irving

Author: Megan Irving

Megan Irving is a junior at Wagner College. In addition to being a full time Wager student, she is enrolled in the advanced sketch comedy program at the Upright Citizens Brigade. A proud Chicago native, she had her first play produced in her hometown in early 2012. This is her third year as a blogger and second year as a HawkTalk director. Her favorite things are writing, breakfast food and Bob Dylan. She has often been described as a lovable curmudgeon and has never passed a state driving test.

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