The 2014 Social Media Awards

Now that I'm starting the fourth week of the spring semester and my third winter at Wagner, I can officially say I’ve been a part of my first real winter, EVER. Not a big fan of this season — but hey, you have to experience something once before you can say whether you like it or not. (All others who don’t like winter, feel free to come to Southern California with me after graduation.)

So, after having nearly a month to ponder life, inspired by the Grammys (congrats, Daft Punk), I thought I’d make an award show of my own: The 2014 Social Media Awards.

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Most likely to help you figure out who your real friends are: Facebook

Having over a thousand friends is cool, at one point. When you see one thousand posts on your feed, you really start to dislike most of your Facebook friends. The whole “Jenny said this, Sam likes that, Louis knows who, Jim did what” thing gets old after a while. Oh and we get the Albert Einsteins of the future on it too...

 

funny snapchatMost likely to get you in trouble in 5 years: Snapchat

So that embarrassing 2-second Snapchat you sent to someone thinking they couldn’t screenshot it the first time…now they can. Thanks to the wonderful replay feature. Now your friends will have blackmail on you for years and years to come. Be smart, people.

 

Most likely to discover your inner artist: InstagramJim gaffigan

A picture is worth a thousand words hashtags. Thanks to #instagram, you can now see everyone’s #artsy photographs. Whether it be of #sunsets, #cars, #babies, or #foodporn, we now have the pleasure of witnessing snapshots of everyone’s life. Are we really enjoying moments of our life or documenting them?

 

Most likely to cure your spastic urges: Twitter

That 10-word thought that you just have to tell everyone, tweet it. That person you want to vent about but not give it away, subtweet it. Give a shout out or advertise it in less than a novel, #hashtag it on twitter. Twitter will force all English teachers to retire early.

Social Darwinism Award: Vine

Ever have a day where you think you’re not the brightest person? Just go watch some Vine Fails and you’ll instantly feel like the smartest person ever. People these days… Go visit “LOL Vines” if you want a good laugh.  http___makeagif.com__media_7-02-2013_cERA1Z

 

Biggest procrastinator: StumbleUponstumbleupon funny pic

*Click*, stumble, *Click* stumble, *Click* stumble, *Click* stumble, *Click* stumble, *Click* stumble… If you try it, you won't be able to stop until the Internet crashes.

 

Most likely to make you successful tomorrow: LinkedIn

That profile your professor tells you to start building freshman year but you don’t start till senior year? Yeah, the earlier the better, and if you learn how to use LinkedIn, it can be your best friend when it comes time to search for a post-grad job.

 

Biggest shoutout of the year: The #Wagnerbound Class of 2018

Whoot Whoot!!! Welcome to the next best chapter of your life in the Big Apple. You've got the whole world ahead of you. Live up the last semester of high school and get psyched for the fall!Anchorman-2-Team-Happy-Jump-Pose

See you then!!

 

 

 

Mark Beyer

Author: Mark Beyer

My name is Mark Beyer and I am a Men's Lacrosse player and Physician Assistant student from sunny San Diego, California. I'm at Wagner because love opportunities both academically and socially. The academics at Wagner are challenging and rewarding in many ways and the social experience at Wagner is unheard of. Having NYC in my backyard for 4 years is an opportunity I probably won't have again.

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