Well, here we are. They tell you all about it. You laugh and say, "Hah, I'll be ready for it when my time comes. I have nothing to fear." Then the time comes, and you fear everything.
We're second semester seniors.
The dreaded alliteration has finally become a reality and I'm going to keep it 100 with you, reader. I am not ready to graduate. When did this happen? Who let this happen? A few days ago I was a doe-eyed, midwestern-twanged freshman. Except a few days ago was actually a few years ago. I didn't know where the business office was. I thought an ILC and an RFT were 90's boy bands. I didn't know what I wanted to major in or who in this world I was going to be. To be honest, I'm still trying to figure that last one out.
Maybe these next few months will be just like any other at Wagner. But you and I know better. So, to all my second semester seniors out there: let's compare notes. Have you been afflicted with any of the following symptoms?
1. The freshmen look like babies.
I saw a pack of freshmen the other day and thought they were a tour group. Could we have really looked like that three and a half years ago? I felt so grown up back then. But you forget how old you feel just by being on your own for the first time. They look so excited for what college holds for them. I'm a little jealous. Let's steal their youth! (Also, LOL if you think your life is actually stressful, freshman. LOL.)
2. You're perpetually running late.
I was in line at the Foundy Starbucks last week when I realized if I stayed there, I would be late for class. But then I realized if I left, I wouldn't have a bagel, which would be a real tragedy. But hey, you know most of your professors by now, so you just slip them an apologetic smile on your way in. Then force an underclassman to give you that seat toward the back of the room.
3. The Senioritis is Real.
Sure, you've been perpetually suffering from senioritis since senior year of high school, but this is a whole new level. C's get degrees isn't just a rhyme; it's a mantra. The other day I went to the dining hall wearing pajamas and with acne cream on my face. I needed brunch. We all need brunch. If I wore rollers, I'd be wandering around like I lived in a 1960's sitcom. Actually, while we're here, do you guys think I could get away with wearing my robe to class? Comment below.
4. You Understand Business Casual.
Okay, so on the flip side of that, you also have this scary section of your closet with blazers, and button-downs, and SPANX! Clothes that your mom has deemed "interview aproprite." You've got sensible heals that say, "I am a grown up business person who can do the business things." This doesn't stop you from getting them stuck in a subway grate as you try to Google map the office building you're headed to. But hey, you're trying. ALSO! While we're here, major shout out to Arts Admin seniors and their full time internships. They not only need those buisness clothes, they need them 5 DAYS A WEEK! (I've been majorly LOLing at @ and #artsadmintrash — check it out.)
Hookup Dating Pool is Empty.
Okay, despite what my mother says, we're not all looking for that nice man (or woman) to take us on real dates and stuff. Some of us just want people to pay for the pizza and provide us with a HuluPlus password. No matter what or who you're looking for, good freaking luck, cause by the time you hit senior year, you've run out of options. Online dating scares me because I feel like I'm going to get murdered and end up on Dateline. Real life dating scares me because I can barely commit to a brand of deodorant, let alone a human being. So, maybe the fact that you've run out of options isn't the end of the world.
By the way, if you want to hear me complain about this at length, make sure to tune into WCBG, Wagner's only radio station. I co-host a show where complaining is the main event — check out Friends Without Benefits, Sundays at 8 p.m. Also just listen to WCBG on the reg, cause college needs a soundtrack.
6. You don't just want a job, you need it.
Does somebody want to proofread my cover letter and resume for me? This isn't a funny part of the post; I actually need someone to do that. Please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Guys, this is my only job right now. I make videos and put together gif-based blog posts. I'm going to have a degree in history and film. Why would my parents let me do that? And yes, Wagner has been great for work. They've helped me get internships and make connections. But even with all of the tools in the world, it doesn't make any less daunting.
(Also, no matter what year you are, the Center for Academic and Career Engagement office is here to help, and they kick butt at it!)
7. Oh, and also a place to live.
I've never been shy about my frustrations about dorm life. Sure, I love the free toilet paper and living in close proximity to my friends. But sometimes you just want to go home to a functioning kitchen, and room with a larger bed. But now that I'm on my last semester of living in a dorm, I am suddenly faced with the prospect of having to find an apartment. An apartment in New York Freaking City. Not exactly known for easy and affordable apartment hunting. Sure, I could go home and live in Chicago with my parents, but guys, I just can't. It's cold and I've gotten used to the pizza here. (Please don't mention that last bit to my friends back home.)
8. You crave alone time.
Freshman year, you couldn't get enough of other people. You needed a packed dining hall table and a movie night with all your besties. But now, you just need people to butt out sometimes. Other people slow down your binge watching. They talk during your movie. They eat your pizza. YOUR PIZZA. You finally understand why your mom needed you to go watch TV while she unwound in the bath with a glass of wine.
9. You're also trying to savor time with your friends.
But then, while you're polishing off that large pizza by yourself, you check Facebook. You see your friends are applying to grad schools and jobs. But these schools and jobs are on the other side of the country. Some of them are on the other side of the world. What do you mean you all aren't coming with me after school? Who's going to watch me cry at bad sitcoms? Who's going to dance around the room with me when our jam comes on shuffle? You don't realize how many people become a part of your life when you're busy living it. How am I supposed to live without Faiza in Hawk's telling me to take another banana? What is going to happen to my potassium levels!?!?!?!?
10. And you're scared and excited and... ready.
Okay, so I'm scared. And excited. And a million different things. Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult quite yet, but I am ready to find out what being an adult actually is. I think what scares people more than anything is not what is to come, but not knowing what that is. Maybe it'll be good. Maybe it'll be bad. I have a sneaking suspicions it'll be a little of both. But, I'm ready to find out what it is.