Now that I'm starting the fourth week of the spring semester and my third winter at Wagner, I can officially say I’ve been a part of my first real winter, EVER. Not a big fan of this season — but hey, you have to experience something once before you can say whether you like it or not. (All others who don’t like winter, feel free to come to Southern California with me after graduation.)
So, after having nearly a month to ponder life, inspired by the Grammys (congrats, Daft Punk), I thought I’d make an award show of my own: The 2014 Social Media Awards.
Most likely to help you figure out who your real friends are: Facebook
Having over a thousand friends is cool, at one point. When you see one thousand posts on your feed, you really start to dislike most of your Facebook friends. The whole “Jenny said this, Sam likes that, Louis knows who, Jim did what” thing gets old after a while. Oh and we get the Albert Einsteins of the future on it too...
So that embarrassing 2-second Snapchat you sent to someone thinking they couldn’t screenshot it the first time…now they can. Thanks to the wonderful replay feature. Now your friends will have blackmail on you for years and years to come. Be smart, people.
A picture is worth a thousand words hashtags. Thanks to #instagram, you can now see everyone’s #artsy photographs. Whether it be of #sunsets, #cars, #babies, or #foodporn, we now have the pleasure of witnessing snapshots of everyone’s life. Are we really enjoying moments of our life or documenting them?
Most likely to cure your spastic urges: Twitter
That 10-word thought that you just have to tell everyone, tweet it. That person you want to vent about but not give it away, subtweet it. Give a shout out or advertise it in less than a novel, #hashtag it on twitter. Twitter will force all English teachers to retire early.
Social Darwinism Award: Vine
Ever have a day where you think you’re not the brightest person? Just go watch some Vine Fails and you’ll instantly feel like the smartest person ever. People these days… Go visit “LOL Vines” if you want a good laugh.
*Click*, stumble, *Click* stumble, *Click* stumble, *Click* stumble, *Click* stumble, *Click* stumble… If you try it, you won't be able to stop until the Internet crashes.
Most likely to make you successful tomorrow: LinkedIn
That profile your professor tells you to start building freshman year but you don’t start till senior year? Yeah, the earlier the better, and if you learn how to use LinkedIn, it can be your best friend when it comes time to search for a post-grad job.
Biggest shoutout of the year: The #Wagnerbound Class of 2018
See you then!!